As a performer with lots of experience on stage, one of the first things I ever learned was to 1) claim my stage (in other words, allow myself to take up space on the stage) and 2) to find my light and place myself in it so that I could be seen.  This renowned speaker did neither of these things.  And the strangest thing was that the mostly female audience didn’t even seem to notice.

The speaker not only couldn’t be seen, but her powerpoint has so many light colored fonts, that much of what she presented couldn’t be read either.  Not only was she not seen, but she didn’t seem to see us either, in the sense of doing her homework and understanding her audience before she spoke.  Many of her jokes were directed to Jewish people, references the fact that our town is probably 30% Jewish.  But the only 70% of us in the audience were left… well, in the dark.  And she apologized for her presentation, that she didn’t have a great ending, that she couldn’t come up with an example for something, that she ran over time.  I was surprised that she didn’t apologize for taking up space in the wings.

The point of this is not to bash this speaker, who made some great points and was well-received.  But, if a well-regarded national speaker shows up like this, chance are that many of us show up similarly in our lives.  How many of us apologize, or metaphorically speak from the wings, as though we’re not really meant to be on stage?  How many of take the time to understand our audience, whether it’s a room full of colleagues or our own child?  The fact is what we say matters, but how we say it matters even more.  You can make the best tasting cereal in the world, but if the package looks like garbage (real or metaphorical), people aren’t going to buy it.  If you have a great message, but we can’t see you and don’t feel that you see us, how powerful is it going to be?

To claim your world stage, remember:  1) find your light 2) make sure you’re onstage and not backstage and 3) don’t apologize and 4) know your audience.  Remember the world is waiting for you.  It’s up to you to claim your place.

When I lived in New York City after college, I rode the subway a lot to and from my job and navigated the crowded commuter trains.  What I’ll never forget is how many women took up half a seat or didn’t even claim an empty seat that opened up, whereas the men often took two seats and grabbed the free seats.  The men would really spread out in their seats too, with their legs spread apart and their hands crossed behind their heads with elbows out.  There’s now a term for it– Manspreading– because it’s still a huge problem.  But why aren’t women claiming their space?

Marianne Williamson, a spiritual writer and speaker, wrote once, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”  She goes on to write that we often think, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?  Actually who are you not to be?” How many of us apologize for ourselves because we’re afraid that if we shine too brightly, we might overshadow someone else.  What would happen if we really did let ourselves shine?

As you contemplate stepping onto your world stage, remember that a stage can only really light up if the people on it allow themselves to shine.  And it’s when we shine that we allow others to see their brilliance.

Notice when you want to play small and try this week to play big.